


What Happens in Vegas

by PFDiva



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Cute, F/F, Gen, M/M, Ridiculous
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-04
Updated: 2013-04-04
Packaged: 2017-12-07 11:52:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/748217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PFDiva/pseuds/PFDiva
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Promptfic to the tune of "Forced to share a bed," because <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/users/Azzandra">Azzy</a> is so good to me.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What Happens in Vegas

Your name is Rose Lalonde, and you are DESPERATELY attempting to ignore the noises coming from the other bed.  Your girlfriend is dead to the world asleep, and wrapped so thoroughly around you that you can't escape.

You can hear squirming and grunting, along with the occasional whispered comment coming from the other bed.

You truly wish you couldn't.

As the couples in the group, you, Kanaya, Dirk, and Equius were all relegated to a separate room for the anime convention, each couple sharing a bed.

Unaware of the realities of rooming with Dirk and Equius, you and Kanaya thoughtlessly agreed.

You would do anything in your power to revoke your agreement.

It had started with which bed they would sleep in.

The proximity of the window made Dirk uncomfortable ("I'm not scared of heights, I just have a healthy respect for the quick stop at the end of that long drop.")

Equius didn't like the idea of being closer to the bathroom ("What if I accidentally see something....lewd?")

You and Kanaya decided the matter by claiming the bed closest to the window.

Phobias trumped potential-but-unlikely-nudity.

And then there was the two of them getting into bed.

Together.

Though they were a well-matched pair, it was pretty obvious they'd never shared a bed together.

Equius and Dirk were both broad-shouldered men with a great deal of muscle to their physiques.

And Dirk apparently had previously-unrealized issues with physical proximity and vulnerability.

He had something very close to a panic attack.

Twice.

To your surprise, Equius proved to be endlessly patient and astonishingly gentle, even guiding the conversation in such a way as to preserve Dirk's pride, preventing either you or Kanaya from unintentionally hurting Dirk's feelings.

Equius had begged Dirk to keep him company under the blankets in a gesture that was clearly more for Dirk's benefit than his own.

You and Kanaya, thinking the matter resolved, had settled in for bed.

Unfortunately for you, she fell asleep more quickly than you did, so you were still awake when the bed opposite you began shaking and squirming, accompanied by heavy breathing and startled noises.

This was terribly uncomfortable, and it had been going on for a while.

You'd assumed they'd have the good grace to NOT engage in sexual activity with people across the room, but clearly you were wrong.

And it was only Thursday night.

All of a sudden, the blankets go flying, and Dirk gasps for air.

They speak in the quiet kind of voices that should be a whisper, but are nowhere near in the silent closeness of the hotel room.

"Ohmigod, Equius, I knew you had an issue with sweating sometimes, but I didn't know it'd be THAT bad."

"I thought it would be fine."

"Clearly not.”

“Can we put the blankets back on?”

“It's hot.”

“But we're so....exposed. It's lewd.”

“You love it.”

“But what if they see?”

“It's not even like they're AWAKE over there."

"Yes, we are."

You can almost hear Equius's heart beat in the silence following Kanaya's clearly-voiced declaration.

Equius flees for the bathroom, briefly illuminating the darkened room before slamming the door behind himself.

You hear Dirk flop back onto the bed with a heartfelt groan.

"I hate you both, die in a hole."

"Not nearly as much as we hate you. Go get your boyfriend out of the bathroom before Kanaya lets me kill you both."

Dirk groans again, rolling out of bed to knock on the door.

"Equius?  Eq-baby?  Can I come in?"

"Must you?"

"Nah, but I WANT to."

"Tell them I apologize?"

"Tell 'em yourself, pony-boy.  I'm not a messenger."

"You are being cruel."

"A little, but with love, because I don't want you sleepin' in the shower or something stupid like that."

They are very sweet, but it's almost 2am, and you wanted to go to an 8am panel.

"If you two don't make up and Go To Sleep, I am going to personally castrate you both."

You can just barely make out Dirk arching a brow at you, and you flip him off from the shadows of your bed.

"Welp, you heard the lady."

"Please come in."

Dirk enters the bathroom, and you hear muffled conversation. It's quiet enough that you eventually manage to drift off.

They aren't in the bathroom come morning, which is all you care about, and you make it to your panel.

When you see them at lunch, however, they are glowing suspiciously, playfully flirting with each other one moment, shyly avoiding one another the next.

You are sorely tempted to congratulate them on the sex, but Dave beats you to the punch.

Equius is embarrassed, Dirk is smug, and Kanaya gives you a significant look that you understand perfectly.

It's going to be an excruciatingly long, painful weekend.


End file.
